How To Control Your Anger? 16 Ways To Stop Being Angry

Anger is a universal human emotion that we all experience at some point. Learning to control your anger is a vital skill that can significantly enhance our relationships, happiness, and personal growth.

Even though it is often considered a negative emotion, anger is a body’s reaction to stressful conditions. It is normal, but you need to learn to deal with it.

When anger starts impacting your health and relations, causes random volatile outbursts, and impacts your quality of life – it becomes essential to get rid of it.

This blog will provide valuable insights and practical techniques to help you understand how to reduce anger.

What is Anger Management?

Anger management is focused on managing your emotions using various techniques and approaches.

Throughout this journey of anger management, it is essential to remember that it is a process that requires time, effort, and self-compassion. It is not about eradicating anger but rather about learning to harness its energy and transforming it into productive actions.

The techniques will include self-awareness and recognizing the early signs of anger, calming and relaxation exercises, cognitive restructuring to reframe negative thoughts, effective communication and assertiveness skills, and problem-solving and conflict-resolution strategies.

16 Tips to Deal with Anger Immediately

The following are the actionable steps to help you cope with anger and lead a more balanced and fulfilling life:

  1. Identify your triggers
  2. Take time out
  3. Deep breathing
  4. Perform exercise regularly
  5. Talk to someone you trust
  6. Seek professional help
  7. Enroll in a course
  8. Practice mindfulness
  9. Challenge your thoughts
  10. Learn to forgive
  11. Develop a positive outlook
  12. Spend time with positive people
  13. Humor
  14. Acceptance
  15. Listen to a music
  16. Start counting from 1 to 100

1. Identify your triggers

Identifying your trigger helps you to develop strategies to control anger

Identifying your triggers is a crucial step in controlling anger. By understanding the specific situations, events, or thoughts that consistently provoke your anger, you can develop strategies to manage them effectively.

For example, suppose you realize you often become angry when someone criticizes your work. In that case, you can practice self-reflection to deeply explore why criticism affects you.

Once you identify this trigger, you can build self-confidence and resilience, reframe criticism as an opportunity for growth, or learn assertive communication skills to express your thoughts and emotions calmly.

In addition, recognizing and addressing your triggers empowers you to respond to them more healthily and constructively.

2. Take time out

man taking time out

Taking time out is an essential strategy for anger management. When you feel anger escalating, you must temporarily pause and remove yourself from the situation. This allows you to cool down and regain composure before responding impulsively.

For instance, if you become angry during a heated argument, you can excuse yourself and take a short break. During this time, engage in activities promoting relaxation, such as walking, listening to soothing music, or practicing deep breathing exercises.

Taking time out helps prevent further escalation of anger. In addition, it allows you to approach the situation more calmly and rationally.

3. Deep breathing

deal with anger with the help of deep breathing

Deep breathing is a powerful technique for managing anger and promoting relaxation. When you feel anger rising, taking deep breaths can help activate the body’s relaxation response and bring a sense of calm.

To practice deep breathing, inhale deeply through your nose, expand your diaphragm, and exhale slowly through your mouth, releasing tension.

For example, if you’re in a stressful situation that triggers anger, pause briefly, close your eyes if possible, and take several slow, deep breaths.

This technique slows your heart rate, reduces muscle tension, and helps shift your focus away from anger, allowing you to approach the situation more clearly and calmly.

4. Perform Exercise Regularly

Managing anger can be effectively achieved through regular exercises

Exercise is an effective strategy for managing anger as it helps release pent-up energy and reduces stress. Engaging in physical activity promotes the production of endorphins, natural mood-boosting chemicals in the brain.

When you feel anger building, participating in exercise can provide an outlet for that energy and help alleviate the intensity of the emotion.

For example, if you find yourself feeling angry or frustrated, you can run, engage in a workout session, or participate in a sport you enjoy.

Physical exercise distracts you from anger-inducing thoughts and promotes a sense of well-being, relaxation, and improved mood, enabling you to approach challenging situations with a calmer mindset.

Check out these effective anger management exercises that can help you remain calm in uncertain and angry situations.

5. Talk to someone you trust

sharing feelings to talk with someone you trust

Talking to someone you trust is a practical approach to managing anger. Sharing your feelings and experiences with a trusted individual provides an outlet for emotional release and can offer fresh perspectives and support.

When anger arises, reaching out to a friend, family member, or therapist can help you gain insight into your emotions and explore potential solutions. It is one of the most effective tips to deal with anger in your relationships.

For example, if you’re facing a challenging situation that triggers anger, talking to a trusted friend about your frustrations and seeking their guidance can offer valuable advice and a sense of validation.

Verbalizing your emotions can also help you gain clarity and find healthier ways to cope with anger, ultimately fostering a sense of connection and emotional well-being.

6. Seek professional help

couple getting professional help by counselor

Seeking professional help is vital in managing anger, especially if anger-related issues persist or significantly impact your daily life.

A trained therapist or counselor can provide guidance, support, and specialized techniques to help you understand and address the underlying causes of your anger. In addition, they can assist in developing personalized strategies and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs.

For example, in case you find that anger interferes with your relationships or causes distress, a therapist can help you explore the root causes, develop healthier communication skills, and improve emotional regulation.

Professional help offers a safe and non-judgmental space to navigate complex emotions, gain self-awareness, and learn effective anger management techniques to lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.

7. Enroll in an anger management course


Enrolling in an anger management class can be a proactive step toward developing effective coping strategies and gaining valuable insights.

These courses provide structured guidance and education on understanding and managing anger. They often cover various topics, such as recognizing triggers, communication skills, stress management, and relaxation techniques.

For example, participating in an anger course may involve attending sessions where you learn about anger’s physiological and psychological aspects, practice mindfulness exercises, and acquire practical skills for resolving conflicts peacefully.

Mastering Anger offers some of the most comprehensive programs that can help you identify your anger triggers and effectively control anger symptoms. Considering the severity of your anger issues, you can enroll in the following classes:

By enrolling in such a course, you actively self-improve and acquire tools and knowledge to better manage and control your anger, leading to healthier relationships and increased emotional well-being.

8. Practice mindfulness

handle anger through mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness is a powerful technique for dealing with anger. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and non-judgmentally observing your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.

When anger arises, mindfulness helps create space between the emotion and your response, allowing for a more conscious and deliberate reaction.

For example, when you notice anger building, you can take a moment to focus on your breath, observe the sensations in your body, and acknowledge your emotions without judgment.

This cultivates self-awareness and allows one to choose a thoughtful and constructive response rather than reacting impulsively.

Regular mindfulness enhances emotional regulation, reduces stress, and fosters greater calm and tranquility in anger-inducing situations.

9. Challenge your thoughts

challenge your thoughts to overcome your anger

Challenging your thoughts is an effective technique for managing anger by examining and reframing negative or distorted thinking patterns that contribute to anger.

It involves questioning the accuracy and validity of your thoughts and considering alternative perspectives.

For example, if a situation makes you angry, you can ask yourself if there are other possible explanations or if you are making assumptions.

By challenging your thoughts, you can replace irrational or exaggerated beliefs with more balanced and realistic ones, reducing the intensity of anger.

This cognitive restructuring process helps you control your emotions, promote empathy and understanding, and approach challenging situations more rationally and level-headedly.

10. Learn to forgive

Image depicting the concept of learning to forgive

Learning to forgive is a decisive step in managing anger and promoting emotional well-being. Forgiveness involves letting go of resentment, anger, and the desire for revenge toward those who have hurt or wronged you.

It does not mean condoning the actions or forgetting what happened but instead releasing the negative emotions associated with the situation.

For example, if someone has betrayed your trust, forgiveness allows you to acknowledge the pain, process your emotions, and choose to release the anger, freeing yourself from its burden.

Forgiveness empowers you to break the cycle of anger and move forward with a renewed sense of peace and inner healing. It promotes personal growth, improves relationships, and improves overall emotional resilience and well-being.

11. Develop a positive outlook

thinking positive dissolves anger

Developing a positive outlook is an essential aspect of managing anger. It involves cultivating a mindset focusing on optimism, gratitude, and constructive thinking.

By consciously shifting your perspective towards positivity, you can reduce the intensity and frequency of anger.

For example, instead of dwelling on the negatives of a challenging situation, you can actively seek silver linings or lessons learned. Practicing gratitude by acknowledging the good things in your life can also help reframe your mindset.

A positive outlook allows you to approach anger-inducing situations with resilience, flexibility, and a belief in overcoming obstacles.

In addition, it fosters emotional well-being, enhances relationships, and enables you to respond to anger triggers with patience, understanding, and compassion.

12. Spend time with positive people

spending time with the positive person uplifts your mood and reduce anger

Spending time with positive people is a valuable strategy for managing anger and cultivating a positive mindset.

Surrounding yourself with individuals who radiate positivity and optimism can influence your own outlook and emotional well-being.

Positive people often exhibit empathy, support, and encouragement, which can help defuse anger and promote a more constructive response.

For example, engaging in conversations or activities with friends with positive mindsets can uplift your mood, provide a fresh perspective on challenging situations, and remind you of the good in life.

Their influence can inspire you to adopt a more positive attitude, reduce stress, and maintain healthier relationships, ultimately contributing to a more balanced and fulfilled life.

13. Humor

humor can reduce the intensity of anger

Humor can be a powerful tool in managing anger and diffusing tense situations. It involves finding amusement or lightheartedness in challenging or frustrating circumstances.

By introducing humor, you can shift your perspective and reduce the intensity of anger.

For example, injecting a well-timed joke or making a light-hearted comment in a heated argument can help defuse tension and create a more relaxed atmosphere.

Humor can also act as a coping mechanism, allowing you to find fun in difficult situations and prevent anger from escalating.

It promotes emotional well-being, improves communication, and fosters a sense of connection and understanding with others, helping you navigate anger-inducing scenarios with greater ease and positivity.

14. Acceptance

accepting plays an importance role in the journey of anger management

Acceptance is a fundamental aspect of managing anger issues and finding inner peace. It involves acknowledging and embracing reality as it is, without resistance or judgment.

By practicing acceptance, you let go of the desire for things to be different and release the negative emotions associated with anger.

For example, if you experience a setback or disappointment, accepting the situation allows you to focus on what you can control and make the best of the circumstances.

Acceptance enables you to redirect your energy towards productive solutions rather than dwelling on anger or resentment.

It fosters resilience, emotional well-being, and a sense of inner harmony, empowering you to navigate life’s challenges with grace and a greater sense of peace.

15. Listen to a Music

listen to music to control anger

When you’re angry, music can be a total game-changer. Seriously, it has this magical ability to help you chill out and find your inner zen.

Picture this: you’ve had a rough day, and you’re fuming with frustration. Pop on some soft tunes, you know, the kind that makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud.

It creates this super peaceful vibe that slows down your racing heart and loosens up those tense muscles. It’s like a secret weapon against anger, giving you the space to let go and find your peace again.

But wait, there’s more! Music is like an emotional superhero. When you’re mad as a hornet, crank up the volume and blast some energetic jams. It’s like giving your anger an outlet. You can sing your heart out, dance like crazy, or just groove to the beat. It’s a healthy way to release all that pent-up anger and feel instantly better.

So, next time you’re seeing red, turn to music as your trusty sidekick. It’ll help you find your chill and get back to your happy place in no time.

16. Start Counting from 1 to 100

start counting from one to hundred to deal with anger

Let’s count from 1 to 100! It’s like a little counting marathon we’re about to embark on. Ready? Here we go!

Start with 1… 2… 3… Keep going! It’s like a warm-up exercise for your brain. We’re just getting started, but I know you’ve got this.

Now, we’re picking up the pace. 10… 20… 30… We’re getting into the groove! It’s like a fun challenge, trying to keep up with the numbers. Keep that count going!

We’re halfway there, my friend! 50… 60… 70… Can you feel the excitement building? It’s like a countdown to a special moment. Stay focused!

Now, we’re in the home stretch. 90… 95… 99… We’re so close, I can almost taste it. It’s like the last lap of a race. You’re doing fantastic!

And finally, the moment we’ve been waiting for. 100! Woohoo! You did it! Give yourself a high-five. It’s like crossing the finish line and achieving a small victory. Great job!


Identifying your anger triggers, finding the underlying causes of anger issues, and developing strategies to manage them. Taking time out, practicing deep breathing, and exercising regularly can help you release tension and promote emotional well-being.

Seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals can provide valuable guidance and perspective.

Additionally, practicing mindfulness, challenging negative thoughts, learning to forgive, developing a positive outlook, and positively influencing yourself can contribute to anger management.

Remember, it takes time and effort but you need to understand how to control anger. By implementing the above-listed strategies and techniques consistently, you can find a healthier and more balanced approach to managing your emotions.

With determination and practice, you can cultivate inner peace and create a more fulfilling and harmonious life.

Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC

Dr. Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC specializes in anger management, family conflict resolution, marital and premarital conflict resolution. His extensive knowledge in the field of anger management may enable you to use his tested methods to deal with your anger issues.


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