12 Effective Tips on How To Control Your Anger

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Angry outbursts can be harmful to both you and the people around you. If you are someone who struggles with anger management, there are some things that you can do to help keep your temper in check. In this blog post, we will tell you how to control your anger and share some tips that you can use to control your anger and stay calm during stressful situations.

What Is Anger Management?

We all know what anger is, and we have all felt it on numerous occasions. By definition, it’s a perfectly healthy emotion that humans feel. It shows that you are capable of feeling upset and annoyed in situations that deserve this response.

  • Someone made you wait for an unreasonable period of time?
  • You saw someone mistreating a street dog?
  • Is your boss taking out personal dislike towards you in a professional environment?
  • Is someone humiliating or disrespecting you or a loved one?

All these justify anger.

However, the way you express your anger has a huge role in deciding whether your sentiment of being hurt and ultimately angry is taken seriously or gets buried down under your vehement expression of rage.

The Expression of Anger

Whether feeling a hint of annoyance or a raging fury – is important. However, how to control your anger and express it is even more significant. At that moment when you are bubbling with anger, you are likely to do and say things that you might regret. Hence, it is essential to master anger.

tips to control the expression of anger

Anger management helps you reduce your feeling of anger as well as the physiological arousal it leads to. It helps you guide your anger to meet your demands without getting “overly emotional,” and aggressive.

Of course, being a valid emotion, anger just can’t dissolve in thin air but in order to deal reasonably with situations and people that bother you, you need to learn to manage anger to divert your mind in the right direction and deal with unpleasant instances with maturity.

Why Is It Important To Manage Your Anger Issues?

The answer to this question might be obvious, but we rarely give it sufficient thought. What could really happen if we don’t learn how to deal with anger sensibly? If you don’t calm down and put your anger into words or productive actions, then what can you do with that emotion? You could either suppress anger or have a ferocious anger outburst.

If you don’t allow yourself to deal with anger and suppress it, it builds up inside you. You try to focus on something positive, divert your attention and think about something else. Sometimes this tactic of diverting your anger is successful but it could also lead to some dangers in the long run.

Firstly, you could become a passive-aggressive person who seemingly appears alright but manifests their anger on others indirectly. You don’t confront people, you don’t let the emotion out of your chest, and yet you continue to subject yourself and others to the misery of perpetual hostility.

Secondly, your anger could in turn affect your physical and mental health. You can experience issues with your blood pressure, hypertension, or just be constantly sad.

According to McLean Hospital studies, seemingly innocuous anger can affect young children’s brains in ways that are not visible. Martin Teicher, an HMS associate professor of psychiatry at McLean, has discovered that verbal abuse from parents and peers causes scarring in growing brains that lasts throughout adulthood.

If you have anger issues, you may lash out at others the moment you feel anger bubbling inside you. You don’t consider if it is the other person’s fault, whether you are being too aggressive, or whether you are being disrespectful and harsh, you just empty out whatever you are feeling with complete disregard for the other person’s condition.

Unsurprisingly, this can cause irrevocable damage to your personal and professional relationships. That is why it is critical to learn how to control anger in a relationship specifically. Hence, you must know how to release anger so that you control it rather than it controlling you. Anger management is absolutely necessary so that a fleeting moment of fury does not sever relationships and untie cherished bonds.

While reading this, if you feel any of these scenarios apply to you or someone you know, you should continue reading to learn how to deal with anger issues and some practical tips and healthy ways to release anger. Even better, you can also try out seeking expert help through verified anger management courses to give you a better idea of how to manage anger.

Let’s check out some useful anger management tips to keep yourself calm during stressful situations:

12 Useful Tips To Deal with Your Anger To Stay Calm

  1. Take a Deep Breath
  2. Take Time Out
  3. Go for a Walk
  4. Listen to a Song
  5. Start Counting from 1 to 100
  6. Stop Talking
  7. Perform an Exercise
  8. Use “I” Statements
  9. Repeat a Mantra
  10. Add Humour to Diffuse Anger
  11. Divert your Attention
  12. Opt for Online Management Course

1. Take a Deep Breath

Now that we have discussed what anger management is and why it is important to learn how to deal with anger, let’s delve into some practical anger management techniques.

take a deep breath to calm your anger

Yes, you must have heard this a gazillion times but that’s only because it works. Deep breathing helps release the rising tension in your body. Filling up your lungs with fresh oxygen lowers blood pressure and the increasing stress hormones in your body.

So, try to calm yourself down when angry over your spouse’s irresponsible behavior with slow, deep breaths.

2. Take Time Out

Get up and leave the situation that is causing you to get angry. Yes, we know that the impulse of responding to a hurtful comment with a befitting response is extremely high. In that moment, just remind yourself to not let anger get the better of you.

The next time you experience an unfair comparison with a colleague in your workplace or a friend at your home, walk out. Some things don’t deserve a reply at that moment, and this is one of them.

3. Go for a Walk

A nice long walk by yourself does not need any reason, but it becomes all the more important to take a stroll outside in the fresh air when you feel you are going to burst with anger.

For all the moms out there who have teenage kids who constantly press your buttons, this one is especially for you. When you feel that you are getting too worked up to have a decent conversation with your troublemakers at that time, walk out and have a nice stroll with a warm cup of coffee.

Once you have gotten a hold of your emotions and senses, you can go back inside and tackle the situation sensibly. Try this, you will be grateful for how well this works to calm yourself when angry.

4. Listen to a Song

This is our tried and tested trick. It always works. If the stupid traffic jam is causing your anger and blood pressure to rise, then just pop your headphones and blast your favorite song. You’ll get an instant wash of calm all over you.

listen to music to reduce anger

5. Start Counting from 1 to 100

It is true that you simply can’t walk out of a situation. Sometimes, you just have to sit there and take bitter sips of your seething anger.

One such instance could be in your workplace where a free-rider colleague shamelessly takes credit for your work. In such a situation, work well to turn the situation in your favour.

Firstly, calm yourself down by counting from 1 to 100. When your attention is diverted by doing so, you can think rationally and do better than making a short hostile remark.

6. Stop Talking

Talking while your anger is leveling up is a very dumb move. You are unable to listen or make coherent sentences. Then why waste your words and energy?

In such situations, just stop talking and let the other person say what they have to say. Take some time to think about it, and then respond with a sound reply.

7. Perform an Exercise

Why not be smart and turn your anger into something positive? When you feel the tension rising in your body, release it by doing an exercise. You must have seen in movies how the male protagonists release their pent-up emotions in the gym.

perform an exercise to manage anger

So, the next time you feel that your parents or your spouse are being unfair, just start doing any exercise which you enjoy. You will not only see the benefits of exercise on your physical health in the long run, but you will also see how exercise helps to instantly uplift your mood.

8. Use “I” Statements

When you feel that you are in the mental headspace where you can maturely express your anger, have a conversation. While talking, make sure to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements as that shifts attention to the action of the other person instead of it remaining on how it made you feel.

So, if you are angry that your partner made a joke about you in front of your friends say that “I felt embarrassed and hurt” instead of saying that “you always poke fun at me in front of our friends.”

9. Add Humour to Diffuse Anger

When two people work or live together, it is bound to cause miscommunication and misunderstandings. When you feel a tiny misunderstanding is being blown up, just add a little humor to diffuse the situation and bring things back to normal.

10. Repeat a Mantra

When you feel that all your senses are being consumed by anger, begin repeating a mantra with all your attention. It could be anything like, “I am bigger than this,’ or “I will control my emotions instead of it controlling me.”

repeat a mantra to calm your anger down

11. Divert your Attention

If somebody is pressing all your wrong buttons and you feel on the edge, try busying yourself. Divert your attention to any activity that comes to your mind. Watch a YouTube video, call a friend, go do your pending chores – it could be anything.

12. Opt for Online Management Course

For some individuals, tips and tricks don’t help a lot when dealing with anger. If you are really concerned about how to control your temper and how to fix anger issues, then there is no harm in consulting an expert for this. There are multiple anger management courses that can help equip you with coping skills.

Our anger management courses can help you learn how to control your anger and manage your stress. These courses are designed to provide you with the tools and techniques you need to effectively manage your anger and stress.

Through these courses, you will learn how to identify triggers that lead to your anger, how to cope with your anger in a healthy way, and how to communicate effectively to resolve conflict. With the help of online anger management courses, you can take control of your anger and stress, and improve your overall well-being.


Just like any other emotion, anger is natural and you are guaranteed to feel it countless times in your life. The point is to make sure that you learn how to control anger outbursts and release them in a way that doesn’t harm you or anyone else. Instead, it results in something positive and deals with the situation that caused the anger in the first place.

Hopefully, you will remember some of the tips and tricks we have shared about how to control your anger the next time you feel the emotion rising in you. If anything, you should remember to take slow deep breaths and to take a time-out from the anger-inducing situation until you have calmed yourself down.

Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC Administrator

Dr. Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC specializes in anger management, family conflict resolution, marital and premarital conflict resolution. His extensive knowledge in the field of anger management may enable you to use his tested methods to deal with your anger issues.


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