Dealing with anger management and your exes

If you’ve ever been in a serious relationship that has crashed and burned, then this entry may sound familiar to you. When someone ends up on the “losing” end of a break up, your positive feelings towards your ex can very quickly turn ugly, replacing love with bitterness, disappointment and anger. It’s natural to feel resentful towards a previous lover when a relationship ends, particularly if the circumstances around it made you feel betrayed. But as author Marina Pearson describes in her piece on The Huffington Post, even if you feel wronged by a former partner, it is important to your health and your future to let go of those negative feelings. Here are a few reasons why she asserts the necessity of relieving yourself of anger you may harbor towards an ex:

  • It hinders your self-confidence. While this may be true of the initial reasons for your breakup, the more you linger on those feelings, the more damage it can cause to your confidence in yourself and keep you from making peace with what happened.
  • It prolongs your suffering. The more you live in the past, the more you keep the pain of what happened — and the depression that goes with it — alive in your present.
  • It can ruin your next relationship. You’re dating again, but are still bitter over how things went down with your ex. While your new partner may be understanding and even willing to let you vent about it, empathy can only go so far. Anger over a past relationship can become tiring and toxic for your current one. Relationships are hard enough to maintain, dragging in the weight of an old one only makes things that much more difficult.

These are just some of the reasons why staying angry over an ex isn’t worth it. If you have trouble handling your anger over a past relationship, consider our online anger management classes at Conflict Coaching & Consulting.

Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC

Dr. Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC specializes in anger management, family conflict resolution, marital and premarital conflict resolution. His extensive knowledge in the field of anger management may enable you to use his tested methods to deal with your anger issues.


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