Are you a mother experiencing sudden anger outbursts and struggling to control her temper? Do you feel like you are always on edge and the smallest of things can trigger you? Do your frustrations build up and release themselves in the form of rage towards your child and sometimes even your partner?
Mom rage may be experienced in your postpartum stages, but can also extend beyond into perimenopause and is a symptom of parental anxiety. It is excessive and uncontrollable and calls for prompt action because it can have negative impacts on you and your baby. Therefore, anger management for moms is extremely important.
Causes of Mom Rage
There are multiple reasons that can cause you to persistently feel on the verge of an outburst as a mother. Hormonal imbalance during the postpartum and perimenopausal stages plays an essential role in causing mood swings, anger and irritability, which is why your rage may get triggered over trivial matters.
Moreover, negative behavior from your child, as well as parental anxiety over their brought up, finances and schooling, may cause mom anger issues. Managing the responsibility of your child along with the rest of the household, combined with a lack of support from your partner, may put you on edge and make you feel frustrated about having to invest yourself in unpaid labor.
How is Mom Rage Different from Normal Anger?
Anger is normally experienced when you feel like you have been wronged in a way that greatly impacts you. Anger is a common emotion and is in fact, a healthy way of showing that you are sensitive to your surroundings. However, when anger becomes excessive and uncontrollable, it becomes harmful and toxic.
Mom rage is a type of extreme anger and is therefore different from normal anger. When you fall victim to mom rage, you feel like you are always on the verge of losing your temper, and the most trivial of things can result in an outburst. Moreover, mom rage is usually directed at children and its explosive nature prevents mothers from keeping their calm.
How Can Mom Rage Hurt a Child?
Excessive anger can be dangerous to the well-being of your little one and so it is important to understand the effects of angry mothers on children. Mom rage ruins the relationship of mothers with their children such that children lose their trust and reliance, and close themselves off to their mothers. This further impacts the family environment.
Furthermore, mom rage also affects your child’s development. It causes emotional and behavioral problems in them and can result in mental health issues like anxiety and low self-esteem. They may also develop unhealthy ways of coping with anger, such as aggression and silence.
9 Tips to Cope With Mom Rage
Here are 9 most essential anger management tips for moms to help them overcome their rage:
- Take Deep Breaths
- Walk Away and Give Yourself a Break
- Talk it Out with Your Partner
- Get Sufficient Sleep
- Take Some Time Out for Yourself
- Opt for Anger Management Courses
1 – Take Deep Breaths
Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to calm yourself down in a moment of anger. It increases oxygen flow to your brain and relaxes your nerves, allowing your mind to clear and enabling you to think more logically. You can use any one of the breathing techniques that you know.
For example, if you are experiencing mom rage, step away for a moment, close your eyes and inhale deeply. Imagine yourself smelling a flower. Hold your breath for a few moments, and then slowly exhale. This time, imagine that you are blowing out a candle. After a few deep breaths, you will realize that you feel much calmer.
2 – Walk Away and Give Yourself a Break
Another way in which you can cope with anger at the moment is by walking away from the situation and allowing yourself some time to retrospect, self-reflect, and calm down. Walking away does not necessarily mean that you should physically move out of the space. In fact, it can also mean that you remain quiet or divert your mind towards something else.
When you sit with your anger for a while and allow your brain to process your emotions more logically, you may realize that your anger was unjustified. This will allow you to be more careful of how you react the next time you are irritated and feel like you may have an anger outburst.
3 – Journaling
Experts believe that writing is one of the best ways to understand yourself better and reduce the burden of emotions from your mind. For several people, journaling is an effective means of managing anger. There are two ways in which journaling serves as a coping mechanism for dealing with angry moms.
First, you can choose to list down all the things that trigger your anger, identify whether your reasons are justified, and then shape your reactions accordingly every time you face a similar situation. This will help you keep yourself in check. Alternatively, you can use writing as a form of expression and let out all your anger in your journal, instead of screaming at your child or partner.
4 – Meditation
Meditation and other forms of exercise such as walking or yoga are also useful ways in helping mothers cope with anger. Meditation doesn’t require hours from your day, so you can easily find a time to fit it into your schedule, whether it is early morning or right before you sleep.
You can listen to any one of the several guided meditations available online on platforms such as YouTube. Through these videos, you will learn to retrain your brain and enable it to learn more healthy ways of coping with overwhelming emotions such as anger.
5 – Talk it Out with Your Partner
Oftentimes, the reason why you experience mom rage is because of worries such as being a good parent, raising your child well, managing finances and looking after the household. You may also feel frustrated because your partner is not sensitive to your struggles and is not giving you the support that you need.
In such a case, rather than letting your rage out on your child, try to understand the roots of your anger, and if it involves more support from your partner, talk it out with them. Try to make them understand the burden of your responsibilities and seek their help. Establishing better communication with them may enable you to get the moral and physical support you require from them.
6 – Get Sufficient Sleep
A lack of proper sleep is one of the main causes of mom rage. When you do not sleep enough, your mind does not get the break that it needs from the stresses of life, and your body does not get sufficient time to recover from your physical exertion. Both factors ultimately impact your mental well-being and put you on edge.
You must try to get 6-8 hours of sleep a day, you allow yourself to rejuvenate. Try to sleep early at night, and take short naps when you can during the day, so that your emotions stay within your control.
7 – Take Some Time Out for Yourself
One of the main reasons why mothers experience anger and frustration is because they do not get any time to themselves. Your whole day revolves around caring for your child to the extent that you may not be able to relax and take a breather even for a few minutes.
You must understand that while your child is important, you must also take care of your own happiness and wellbeing. Take some time out every day for an activity that you enjoy. You can choose any form of self-care, whether it is sitting alone with a cup of coffee, watching a few episodes of your favorite show, or calling up a close friend.
8 – Medication
In some cases, mothers tend to experience so much anxiety and rage, those simple everyday exercises are not able to help them cope. When this happens, they must not hesitate to seek medical help. After diagnosing your condition, your doctor will prescribe medications that you must take regularly for a certain period of time. These medications will help calm your nerves and keep your anger in check.
9 – Opt for Anger Management Courses
One of the best ways to learn how to deal with mom rage is by enrolling in online anger management classes. These courses are designed to help give you effective tips to control your temper and range from 4-hour to 52-hour in duration. You can opt for the course that best suits the intensity of your anger issues.
You must keep in mind that it is okay to talk about your problems with someone else and that opening up and sharing your thoughts is not a sign of weakness.