Why Is My Husband Always Angry?
Stepping into marriage is the most difficult step for a couple and dealing with an angry partner is even more difficult. Often, a partner after a few years of marriage turns out to be someone you do not know at all. Especially when they become angry.
After the honeymoon period in a marriage, you may wonder “Why my husband is always angry?” This question may arise due to the constant anger issues your husband is facing which are turning your relationship into a toxic one.
Luckily, there is help that you can seek to solve the anger issues your husband is going through and make your relationship strong again.
What are the Causes of your Husband’s Anger?
Having an angry husband is what most women go through without realizing that there is a solution to this problem other than just separation or compromise. Loving someone and being with them in a relationship where there is only negativity can be overwhelming.
Prolonged anger issues in a person may result in angry outbursts at times too and that may not be good for you as well as your family. That is why the first step towards solving this issue for your husband is to find out the causes.
Before we proceed towards the causes, if you think having an angry husband is all your fault then the first thing that you have to do is make yourself understand that it has nothing to do with you. If your husband is angry all the time then there is something else that is causing the anger and it is not your fault.
Many husbands blame their wives for their anger but in reality, it is not their fault. By blaming you, your husband is just trying to put the responsibility on your shoulders but as an adult, he has to be responsible for his own actions.
Finding out the right cause will help you identify which anger management course will be best for him. Luckily, experienced faculty like Dr Carlos take several manager management classes from court-ordered to Teen anger management classes. Taking anger management classes would help sort out your relationship issues due to his anger.
Physical Issues
A lot of women complain that my husband is always angry. Being aggressive all the time may be a symptom of an underlying physical condition that your husband is going through but is not diagnosed. For example, diseases like high blood pressure, diabetes, and hormonal disorders like the thyroid may make men irritable.
Many men suffer from low testosterone, for which they take synthetic testosterone which is called steroids. If this is so then it might be the reason why your husband is always angry.
Mental Issues
Apart from physical issues, your husband might have one of the following which may have made him an angrier person:
Grief
If your husband is angry all the time, it is time to identify a cause. Think of all the experiences your husband has gone through currently or in the past. If your husband is grieving a loved one’s death, has recently lost a job or had a divorce then the grief may have caused him to become angry all the time.
Stress
Every person has their own way of dealing with stress. For some, the same amount of stress may not be something to worry about whereas for others little stress would cause them a lot of harm. If your husband is undergoing a lot of stress then it might be the reason why he is angry all the time.
Depression
Depression is more common than you think in today’s world. If your husband is going through depression then it might be the reason why he is angry all the time. Try to observe his behavior and if you think he is depressed then you must consider taking professional help as your husband might be suffering inside too.
Unaddressed Emotional Trauma
Your husband might have gone through an unaddressed emotional trauma which might have caused anger as a symptom. Try to find out if he had a workplace disaster or a childhood abuse issue which he has not overcome.
Someone who has gone through an emotional trauma that has not been addressed properly then they are always in survival mode which makes them angry.
How should you deal with your angry husband?
Once you have found out the cause of his anger, you know that it is not your husband’s fault either and he might need a little help and support from you. You both can work together as a team to address his anger issues.
We have listed down some simple tips on how to deal with your angry husband and make your relationship work:
1. Talk with your husband
Once you have found out the cause of your husband’s anger the first step is to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. Communication is always the best thing to do in a relationship whether it is with a spouse, parents and child or friends.
You must communicate your concerns while practicing active listening so that he feels comfortable talking to you. He might want to talk to you about his insecurities or his feelings but he may have perceived that you will not understand him which is why there has been this wall of anger between you two.
Having a conversation with your husband will let him speak his heart out to you. In many cases, the first time he may not communicate with you if the grief is deep rooted or he is a reserved person. However, do attempt to try again a few times if this happens.
2. Reply with Compassion
In most cases, we judge the other person by comparing them to ourselves. Two people cannot be alike and this is what we have to understand in a marriage. When you are discussing your husband’s aggression do not compare him to yourself. He might not be able to control his emotions as you can control yours.
So stop being judgemental when you are discussing his issues and talking to him. He needs to know that you are genuinely concerned about him. You need to show love and understanding to him.
3. Consider what is making him angry all the time
You need to understand that your husband is a different person and he may react to a circumstance differently from how you would react. For you, it may be easy to deal with the loss of a loved one or losing a job but your husband might not be able to deal with it soberly. Hence, he would be showing anger all the time as a coping mechanism.
You should also realize that we all need some space and time to heal from a tragedy. If your husband has recently gone through a tragedy then you must respect his space and give him some time to heal.
4. Take of yourself as well
In the process of helping your husband deal with his anger, you must not forget to take care of yourself too. Your mental health and overall being always come first and if you are not feeling okay being with your husband while he is going through a rough patch then you must seek professional help or seek guidance from a support group or someone you can trust.
If you yourself are feeling overwhelmed then how will you help your partner deal with his anger? Therefore you must take care of yourself first.
5. Consider taking an anger management course
If you have tried everything and still you are unable to help your husband deal with his anger then taking an anger management program might be helpful. Platforms like masteringanger.com offer online courses which are self-paced and really helpful for managing anger.
You have to convince your husband to take an anger management program. There are many variations from which your husband can choose from such as a 4-hour program, a 6-hour program etc.
6. Consider Couples Counseling
In many cases, you may be able to help your partner manage and control his anger but things between you too might not get sorted. You may keep on feeling overwhelmed while your husband may remain ignorant. If this is the case then we advise you to take couples therapy so that as a couple you both can resolve your grievances.
Conclusion
Anger is a common problem for many couples as one of them is more aggressive than the other. But if you feel your husband is angry all the time and it causes a lot of conflicts between you two then it is time to consider taking some measures to overcome it.
The first thing that you must do is find out why my husband is always angry? The above article will help you answer this question of yours and offer you solutions to help him manage his anger.
Dr. Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC specializes in anger management, family conflict resolution, marital and premarital conflict resolution. His extensive knowledge in the field of anger management may enable you to use his tested methods to deal with your anger issues.
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