Why Am I So Angry?
Like all the other emotions, anger is also natural and every human feels it. There are circumstances in everyone’s life where one feels angry at something or someone. Everyone has their own way of dealing with anger but one has to also learn to control their anger in many situations.
Feeling angry is inevitable but you must learn to manage your anger effectively. If you feel your intensity of anger is too high from others and it makes you think “why am I so angry?”, then it is time to consider the causes, signs, and symptoms of your anger and manage it effectively.
What are the causes of anger?
Anger differs from person to person and everyone has a unique way of expressing it. Some of you might feel angry but would not utter a word out of anger and many of you would lash out at someone out of anger.
Everyone has their own triggers, frustrations and feelings which might affect their aggression. For example, the reason for your friend getting very angry would not be a very big thing for you and vice versa. That is why everyone needs significant coping skills to manage, express and reduce their anger.
However, some of the common causes of anger are:
- Feeling someone is threatening you or attacking you.
- Unfair treatment and not being able to do anything regarding it.
- When your property, authority and feelings are not respected.
- Any sort of interruption by anyone or anything when you are trying to reach your goal.
- Everyday stressors such as traffic or paying hefty bills.
- Having personal issues like relationship problems or not being able to get a promotion at work.
- Any unfortunate event such as a car crash.
- Flashbacks of any traumatic experience or enraging event.
- Financial issues lead to frustration.
These are just some of the many causes of aggression in people. There might be more causes of anger in people depending on their struggles and experiences. For some people, a common cause of anger is the grief they are struggling to overcome. For example the loss of someone close to you or losing a job.
What are the signs of anger?
Anger can be shown in a lot of ways depending on the nature of the person. Some may walk away from the room, some may take it out verbally by saying mean things, some of you may shout and in extreme cases, some of you may lash out physically.
You have an aggression issue if you feel angry all the time and you can’t figure out why. There are several anger management classes provided by excellent faculty like Dr Carlos that can help you find out why you are angry all the time and how you can manage your anger if it is getting out of your hands.
Look out for the signs of anger mentioned below as if you have them then you might need help managing your anger.
- Verbally shouting and swearing, name-calling and threatening.
- Reacting violently, lashing out physically, breaking things or pushing people.
- You are damaging and frightening people.
- Using passive ways like ignoring
- Having an elevated body temperature, muscle tension, clenched jaw, sweating, fast heartbeat, chest constriction or flushed skin.
- You may feel humiliated, insecure, disrespected, fearful, jealous, rejected or abandoned.
What are the symptoms of anger?
Anger issues have become common among people of all ages as it is one way to manage their anger.
Here are some common symptoms of anger that should make you think that your anger is not normal:
- Your social life and relationships are being affected by your aggression.
- Feeling the need to hold in or hide your anger.
- Constant focus on negative experiences and negative thoughts.
- Feeling hostile, impatient and irritated constantly.
- Getting into unnecessary arguments with others while getting angrier in the process,
- Becoming physically violent when you get angry.
- Violently threatening people or their property.
- Not able to control your anger all the time.
- Doing or feeling like doing impulsive and violent things because of your anger such as destroying things or reckless driving.
- Due to your angry outbursts, you may be feeling depressed or anxious. This would make you stay away from many situations or events.
What is the process to diagnose an anger problem?
You might have gotten answers to many such questions regarding your behavior, especially why you are feeling angry all the time. The above signs and symptoms would help you analyze why you are angry. As said earlier, anger is a natural emotion that every person feels but if you feel angry all the time then that is not normal.
If you are feeling angry all the time it is time to address your anger problem. Anger itself is not a mental disorder but it can be due to a mental disorder in many cases. That is why there is no particular diagnosis of anger problems but according to the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders anger is a symptom of many mental disorders like intermittent explosive disorder and borderline personality disorder.
You must seek professional help to find out if your anger is caused by a mental disorder or if you are feeling angry all the time unnecessarily. If you are suggested to take anger management courses then you can choose from various available courses online.
What can happen if anger isn’t treated properly?
If you have noticed that you are feeling aggressive all the time and your anger gets out of your control then it’s time to treat this problem of yours. If you will not seek help for your anger issues then this problem of yours will intensify and one day it will get out of your control.
You might end up doing something that you should not do, such as violent behavior in your office or physical violence. Because of this, you will have to regret it later. In many cases, people with persistent anger issues end up being violent, hurting someone or destroying something which they are not supposed to do.
This kind of behavior may make you end up getting a court ordered anger management course or even worse. This is why you must get your anger problem treated as soon as you suspect it and seek professional help.
Not only your professional and personal life will be affected by untreated anger but your physical health would also get affected. You might be at risk of getting depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, stomach issues, disturbed sleep, cardiovascular problems and diabetes.
How can you manage your anger?
Managing and controlling your anger is the best thing that you can do for yourself and your loved ones. Being angry all the time can make you toxic to everyone with whom nobody would want to be around. It is why you must follow the following tips:
1- Finding out the actual emotion
In most cases, the reason behind the aggression is some sort of trauma or escalating negative thinking which has led to making you feel angry all the time. Try to find out if there is any other emotion that you are feeling before you feel angry.
If there is a feeling of humiliation or insecurity or if you feel disrespected then that may be the reason for you to feel angry. Addressing that emotion will automatically solve your anger issue.
2. Go for a walk
When you feel angry, the best way to avoid doing something regretful is to just leave that area and go for a walk. If you walk out of the room or that space, you will be able to avoid lashing out at your colleagues, friends or your spouse while you can think of a logical solution to handle the conflict.
You can take deep breaths while you take a walk. If you are at work and cannot leave the office space then you can just go to your cabin area and cool down your anger.
3. Relax yourself
If you feel angry all the time then you must practice relaxation techniques. You can meditate for 15 minutes every morning as well as at the moment you are feeling angry. Enrolling yourself in yoga classes would also help in relaxing your mind and body.
4. Establish some Lifestyle changes
Sometimes anger issues are aggravated because of disturbed sleeping patterns, unhealthy meals and irregular routines. If this is so you must make sure you follow a good routine that is accompanied by enough sleep and healthy meals.
Try to incorporate one hour of exercise. There are many benefits of exercise for your mental health as well as physical health. The intensity of your anger will also be decreased by bringing this change into your lifestyle.
5. Get support
In order to solve any issue you have to seek support from the right kind of community and professionals. There are many support groups related to anger management which have people who are also going through the same issues. Reaching out to each other in such groups would help you learn from their experiences while you share yours.
Moreover, seeking support from professionals would help you sort out the issues that make you aggressive.
6. Take Anger Management Courses
If nothing helps you permanently calm down your anger, then you must enroll in an anger management course. There are all kinds of courses available from Teen anger management courses to court ordered courses.
Take a course that suits your situation and manage your anger before it is too late. When anger issues get prolonged, you might do something regretful.
7. Seek Professional Help
If you think nothing is working out for you then you must seek the help of a medical evaluator and get professional help. Anger issues can cause hindrances in your personal and professional life which is not good for you and your loved ones.
Conclusion
After reading this article, you will be able to answer your question about why am I so angry all the time. There are many things going on in the back of your mind which may result in anger. You must first understand why you are feeling angry and once you find out you can manage your anger effectively.
Dr. Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC specializes in anger management, family conflict resolution, marital and premarital conflict resolution. His extensive knowledge in the field of anger management may enable you to use his tested methods to deal with your anger issues.
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