What to Do When Someone Yells at You?
Everyone has experienced being yelled at, whether it’s at work, home, or in a public place. It’s a humiliating and uncomfortable situation that can make you upset, angry, or even frightened.
When someone yells at you, it’s easy to react impulsively and let your emotions take over. However, staying calm and handling the situation thoughtfully can make a big difference.
In this blog, we’ll find what to do when someone yells at you. You’ll learn how to keep cool, understand the underlying issues, and respond in a way that defuses the conflict rather than escalating it.
It’s important to remember that when someone raises their voice in anger, it often says more about their state of mind than it does about you. You can maintain your composure and address the situation more effectively by managing your reactions.
Whether you’re dealing with a coworker, family member, or stranger, these strategies will help you stay grounded and turn a negative interaction into an opportunity for positive communication.
So, let’s discover what to do when someone yells at you, turning a challenging encounter into a moment of growth and understanding.
Why Do People Yell When They Are Angry?
People yell for many reasons, but their anger is often not about you personally. Yelling is usually a sign of frustration, emotional instability, or an attempt to gain control.
In some cases, yelling is a learned behavior. People who grew up in households where yelling was common may instinctively use it when dealing with conflict. Others may yell to show dominance, express aggression, or release frustration.
From a psychological perspective, yelling triggers the fight-or-flight response. This releases adrenaline and cortisol, making emotions feel more intense. Understanding this can help you stay calm and avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Instead of reacting impulsively, remind yourself that their yelling reflects their emotions, not necessarily your actions.
Common Reactions to Being Yelled At
People react differently when someone yells at them. Depending on the situation, common reactions include:
- Desire to attack: The instinct to shout back, retaliate, or react aggressively is natural but can escalate the situation.
- Responding politely: Some people maintain a calm and composed demeanor, making the yeller aware of their inappropriate behavior.
- Escaping the situation: Walking away is a common reaction but not always practical, especially in workplace or service industry scenarios.
- Freezing or shutting down: Some individuals become emotionally overwhelmed and struggle to respond at all.
- Internalizing the stress: Many people absorb the emotional intensity of the yelling, leading to anxiety, self-doubt, and avoidance behaviors.
While these reactions are understandable, the best approach involves thoughtful, intentional responses rather than impulsive emotional reactions.
5 Things a Person Should Do When Someone Yells Out of Anger
When someone starts shouting at you, the situation becomes tricky to deal with, and you start wondering about the best course of action. Here are some approaches you can utilize when someone starts yelling at you.
1. Take a break
Request a break from this individual. After gently handling the ranting, you should request a pause from this individual to consider. You may also require some time to cool down since their ranting has caused your adrenaline to skyrocket, and you don’t know how long you can keep it all within.
When you ask for a break from someone, make a statement rather than a question, especially if it is not your supervisor. However, if it’s a partner, friend, or someone else, it’s perfectly OK to say that you need a break and some time to think things through before responding correctly and quietly.
2. Distance yourself
You may now return to talking to the individual after you feel your emotions have cooled down and you know how to handle whatever they were ranting about. Allow yourself enough time to think about the situation, what was said, and how you want to reply.
In some cases, such as in-law relationships, it may take a few days because emotions take longer to de-escalate. On the other hand, if it’s a boss and you know you can’t ignore the issue for long because there are deadlines or your career is on the line.
Utilize some relaxing tactics like deep breathing or visualization methods to digest the situation faster so you can go back to them sooner rather than later.
3. Address the Yelling Calmly
Address the ranting calmly. When someone yells at you, your emotions are usually triggered, and you feel compelled to respond. Reacting with shouting, criticism, or other negative responses can exacerbate the situation; instead, do all in your ability to keep your thoughts and feelings in check to address the real issue, which is their yelling.
Make it clear to the individual that you will not tolerate being screamed at, regardless of the scenario or problem. If you say this respectfully and quietly, you are more likely to get a favorable response, such as an apology, or at the very least make them aware that they are shouting.
4. Disagree with the Yeller
Agreeing with the yeller to alleviate the situation fosters future screaming. If you agree with the yeller to help the problem and then decide to do or say what they are requesting, you are condoning their ranting.
Being accommodating to someone shouting at you encourages them to yell at you again in the future to get their way. Avoid utilizing this sort of diffusing strategy; it will come back to bite you in the end, and you will be subjected to their ranting more frequently.
5. Assess the Situation
Take a mental pause to evaluate the issue. Pause mentally to examine the situation before taking any action. This will help you choose whether it is worthwhile to wait out the yelling or leave the situation.
If you are being shouted at by a casual acquaintance and didn’t mind offending them by walking away from them, then go away. You don’t have to endure someone else’s abuse and maltreatment if they aren’t significant in your life.
What Else Can One Do to Avoid Yelling During Anger in the Future?
Suppose all the above-mentioned techniques cannot be utilized. In that case, it is time to seriously consider investing in your mental health and find lasting solutions to anger issues that lead to shouting.
Some people are unsure of how to alter their conduct. People with shouting problems can seek professional treatment (such as therapy, counseling, or anger management programs).
But, first, they must acknowledge that the problem harms their connection and that change is required to mend the relationship. Here are fail-proof approaches to control anger and shouting.
Opt for an Anger Management Program
Mastering Anger offers some of the most effective online anger management classes to help you identify triggers and learn techniques to manage emotional responses. For instance, by learning to control anger, you can reduce behaviors like yelling.
These courses are available in flexible durationsā4, 6, 12, 16, 36, and 52 hoursāand can be completed from the comfort of your home.
You can check the requirements and select a course best suited to your needs.
Talk to a Therapist
In most cases, anger and yelling are associated with an underlying physical or mental disorder. In addition, the irregular release of regulatory hormones can negatively impact your cognitive functioning leading to mood disorders and anger outbursts.
Talking to a therapist can help in the evaluation of trigger factors. A therapist will also analyze your mental health status to rule out any disease and help identify the trauma that shaped your volatile behavior. Additionally, a therapist can help you select the best management and treatment strategy based on your symptoms, so you can easily manage anger issues.
Conclusion
Anger is a normal response of a body to stressors. However, when this response starts impacting your daily routine, you need to take steps to resolve anger issues. Considering our frustrating environment, it is no wonder most people shout or yell at others to show their disappointment.
Considering our list of things to do when someone yells at you in anger, we hope you will be better prepared for such situations!
Dr. Carlos Todd PhD LCMHC specializes in anger management, family conflict resolution, marital and premarital conflict resolution. His extensive knowledge in the field of anger management may enable you to use his tested methods to deal with your anger issues.
Responses